3 Conversations Couples Should Have BEFORE There's a Problem

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Some relationship conversations tend to happen only when something has gone wrong.

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Money gets discussed after a financial decision creates conflict.

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Parenting gets discussed during a disagreement about the children.

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Fidelity boundaries get discussed after somebody feels that a line has already been crossed.

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But research suggests these areas deserve attention before crisis develops. Infidelity and financial difficulties appear among commonly reported contributors to divorce, financial disagreements have been associated with later divorce, and coparenting quality and marital satisfaction are meaningfully connected.

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Check it out here: https://youtu.be/ud1yy0WVObo

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Money Is More Than Math

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Financial disagreements can represent underlying differences around security, freedom, fairness, control, responsibility, and shared decision-making.

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Don't only ask:

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"How much did we spend?"

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Also ask:

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"Is anything about our finances creating anxiety or resentment for you?"

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Parenting Is a Relationship Issue Too

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Parenting disagreements aren't necessarily just disagreements about children.

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They can create feelings of being unsupported, undermined, overburdened, or alone.

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Proactive parenting conversations allow couples to negotiate boundaries when everyone is regulated instead of attempting to create a shared parenting philosophy during a crisis.

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Fidelity Needs a Definition

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Couples shouldn't assume they automatically share the same definition of fidelity.

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Emotional relationships, texting, ex-partners, pornography, flirting, online interactions, and privacy can all carry different meanings for different partners.

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Boundaries should be discussed rather than assumed.

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The Relationship Pulse Check™

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Periodically check four areas:

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Money: Is anything financially stressing us or requiring a decision?

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Parenting: Where are we aligned or misaligned?

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Us/Fidelity: How connected do we feel, and are our relationship boundaries still working for both of us?

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Unsaid: Is there anything you've avoided bringing up because you didn't want it to become a bigger issue?

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The conversation you avoid today doesn't always disappear. Sometimes it just gets more expensive.

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